Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Embarking Into the Unknown

Today I am feeling so many blessed changes coming. Change has always been one of those things that scares me...like embarking out into the unknown.  But once I've leaped I then said "what was I so afraid of?"

 I still have my comfort zones.

The last seven years I have lived in the same humble abode. I lived with my hubby before marriage ( I hate that, but it is what it is) and we made a house a home together. He bought a home with not so much charm but work. While I couldn't see the finished project...he assured me all was well.

He took hot lava carpet and installed wood floors himself, scraped, scrubbed and painted...concreted, drywalled, roofed..you name it.

Two weeks after the complete remodel of our lower story, a water main broke on our street, poured down into our house and flooded the new work..ruining it and rendering us back where we started from.
It was one of the lowest points of our life in this house.

A few years later and we've recovered but not fully since the house still has some water issues and we have flooded three times since, even with thousands of dollars invested to fix it. I feel blessed that even so we've made the most of it and somewhat polished what is possibly a jewel beneath the grime.

This subject is near and dear and sensitive to share..because it comes not without judgement or some one's opinion.


After a few hard years of marriage and struggling to make ends meet( literally pulling from one place to satisfy another)...with rising interest rates and adjusting mortgage payments not in our favor...we made the hard decision to walk away from our hard, endless work.

This home was our stepping stone, but things took a turn and became more permanent for us.

We have since changed that and tried to Short Sell it. Other homes are going for way more in the area and ours just isn't worth what it was...an unfortunate story for so many homeowners.

We've always felt that as long as we had each other we would be happy anywhere...but we also have a standard.
We love the sunshine, we love nice floors, we love an outdoor area...nice fixtures...but also somewhere we felt we could grow. We may have found it.
And even if this new house that we've found doesn't "pan out", we know there will be others and we will be placed where God sees us. I just have to keep saying that in my head. "It's whatever He chooses for us."

But it is hard. I want to start fresh so bad.

I don't want to "fix" things all the time...or feel guarded in inviting people over because my house has flaws, or struggle to make repairs and pay bills because of it...or feel like we've done all we can do in any given place. I want to feel free...and am embracing a change this time around.
 Fixing, fixing and more fixing....

 After the flood and the gutted result...
The renovation was so new, we hadn't even taken pics of it. The smell of fresh paint still lingered as brand new soggy dry wall was ripped out. 
Such a sad time for us.





Our house right now (well, from Thanksgiving.) I think we have made it a home. But we only inhabit our upper story since our lower story is just a constant source of work.
 Our outdoor space that I am going to miss. We put so much work into the outside. The outside was my project. I planted, seeded, weeded, dug...and each year it blooms better than the last.
The saddest part is all our memories that we've made. My husband and I made our first home here, our son, and his room (which I will miss the most.).
And all the hard work my husband did to create what he did.
I know that moving forward is necessary...but it is also bittersweet.

Please pray for us as we embark on a new journey in the very near future.
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Also, my sweet friend, Jen, posted a well written blog about her time visiting with her adorable son, Lincoln, and had such a sweet rendition of our friendship growing up.
I'd like to add that we wrote about one thousand letters to each other, all folded perfectly...and I've saved them all. So fun to look back on what we wrote. One thing has not changed, she is still a brilliant writer. Please check it out!
Best Friends in Highschool...and finding our way back after becoming mommas...


7 comments:

  1. How exciting that change is ahead,LeiShell. You'll always have your pictures, your memories, your journaling from the time in your home, so look forward....glad you are the memory keeper for your family. Years from now, especially, you'll be so glad.
    ~Joanie

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    Replies
    1. Thank you sooo much Joanie. You always have the kindest things to say. I believe you. And I'm so blessed with the gift to capture and journal these special times. Now to make new ones!

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  2. your house (the part you guys actually live in) looks beautiful! i can't imagine all the work you've had to go through with the bottom level - UGH!

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    1. Yes, about three separate remodels totalling over $60,000 and still needing more. Thank you, I do like the part we did remodel and didn't get ruined:)

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  3. Fresh starts are good. Wishing you guys the best as you move forward!

    Jayme @ Her Late Night Cravings

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  4. Our old home is the same- always full of needs. Yours looks so sweet and cozy. Good luck with your new adventure! Hope many doors open for you.

    Bennett Love

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  5. You sure have been through a lot for being so young! I am sorry for the trials. But you still have a wonderful husband and a beautiful child. And you ain't so shabby either! Ha!

    thanks for visiting Butterbean Row. Next time I will serve some lemonade on the deck. Y'all come back now.

    ♥charlotte

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